The 4 S’s of Emotional Support for Adults 

(In supporting our children)

Providing a great start to the school year - right now - starts before you enter your car and drive to work.  Adults create the learning environment for children to flourish and thrive by way of these 4 elements: 

SAFE   - Practice:  I Validate kids' emotions, I am calm and invite calm, I give time to process ideas and emotions, I notice what they are really communicating and check in, I reframe their  “wants” into “needs”, I limit my words when they are in distress.

SEEN - Practice:  I ask “why” and “why now” to help me see behind the behavior, I listen to understand and avoid judging or rushing to fix things, I take the children’s perspectives - tune into what they are experiencing, I create calm, I encourage, I affirm, I emphasize and validate - I challenge stereotypes, biases, and I embrace inclusive practices and all kids.

SOOTHED - Practice:  I notice what triggers me and work to neutralize  the triggers, I recognize and reduce stressors for children, I go silent and listen deeply, I monitor my voice, intonation and facial expressions, I use non-verbals more frequently,  I ask questions to establish a  deep desire to understand, I acknowledge and attend to the needs of the children’s safety, emotions, coping skills and connections.

SECURE    Practice:  I am curious about my own reactions, I avoid being defensive, rigid, or chaotic, I connect emotionally with children and others, I clarify boundaries, I help children plan what to do next, I repair any harm I’ve caused.

I  AM BOTH A ‘SAFE HARBOR’ AND ‘LAUNCHING PAD’ FOR CHILDREN